What’s “Off the Hook” at Nutrition Forum V by Jason Dhir Rated - R
BSN Endorush -
Energy, mental acuity and euphoric feeling all in one. I felt like I was damn floating around the F*ckin’ Forum after a bottle of this. Dude and dudettes… If you want to buzz like a chainsaw and float like your bloody Casper the ghost – this drink will get you there – fast! This 16oz newly released juggernaut from BSN has a propriety blend of bunch of fun substances that dismisses the common conceptions of any typical drink on the market. Covering all bases of what someone would supposedly want in an energy type drink, I personally liked all my senses being on cloud nine and in fact – I am writing this piece of work while drinking a Grape flavored one.
Myogenix Joint Repair –
Are all of you on crack to think that you can escape taking this product? All of the wear and tear from day to day activity and additionally intense lifting or other exercise can slowly cause degeneration in your joints. Cartilage slowly wears, synovial fluid drys, tiny tears start to form in ligamants and tendons, and inflammation becomes prevalent. Joint and Tissue Repair by Myogenix (our Rookie of the year company) covers all bases by offering key components to excellent joint health such as Glucosamine, MSM, Undenatured Type 2 Chicken Collagen and Bromelain. For everything from Running, golfing and football all the way to putting up the Christmas tree this year, this should without a doubt be a staple to your supplement program. So far everyone at NF that has tried it thinks it’s awesome! To prevent feeling like an old hag, taking a modest dose of Myogenix’s new little helper can certainly be the new fix. (Also, for good Joint and boner repair stack with Nasutra – see “Off the Hook 4”)
Energy X –
I have no clue how the f*ck this sh*t works, but it does somehow. My friend Emeric Delczeg pieced this magic wonder together that is a whole new ballgame to the supplement industry. Taking one of these made me really chatty and perked up. Stacking it with an Ephedrine based product or other high stimulant made me bounce of the walls for hours. When taking the combination of both - I was Jacked. It is really an ideal product if you’re a really boring person and want to seem like you have a spark at work or on a date. If you never had something to say before, now you’ll get chatty and won’t want to shut up. I will warn you though that there is a big difference between chatting someone up and getting kicked in the nads for being motormouth. The product also stimulates Nitric Oxide which can enhance pumps in the gym and contains Humanofort which is a powerful anti-cortisol egg embrio extract with many positive health benefits.
Chef Jay’s Self Heating Soup -
David Blaine crapped his pants on this one. Now this is an interesting concept that Chef Jay has brought to the table. A self Heating can of soup. Probably more expensive than most top restaurant prices for some soup – the basis of the product revolves around its convenience. All you have to do is pop the bottom cap, push in a button and voila! No Sh*t! You have hot soup that contains over 20g protein with only 7g carbs. I was pretty darn impressed by the concept that can definitely lead to more complete self heating meals. Great for people that travel or are on the go and also the Bill Nye science guy wannabees. I do find that the taste is highly questionable but it’s definitely a 10 as far as a convenience.
Gaspari Haldrol – 50 -
Need I say more. Lord have mercy on the 98lb weaklings. I don’t know how to word this to you folks but this is what I would personally call some barely legal sh*t. This stuff even made headlines in the Washington Post! If you want some freakish results from a next generation, gray area anabolic, this is the way forward. These scored little suckers contain an extremely powerful anabolic/androgenic substance that will sanction your thirst for some hardcore iron-pushing. A waste for wuss, but primed for a pro, this is some gnarly stuff. No matter what your hitting in the gym, thru all of the aggression, clanking of iron, blood and guts you spill – Halodrol will be there for you. Until the f*ckin’ feds get there hands on it that is.
XClear + Xylitol -
Sinus Problems? I think I have found a cheap fix. Granted it may not be a solution to surgery, a few drops of this up ya sniffer can certainly help with ear, nose and throat infections. Xclear contains Xylitol which is not only a very powerful foreign body fighter and sweetner too, but also incredibly safe and can even be used with infants. The company also produces toothpaste, chewing gum and also mints that all contain this wicked substance.
Feeling a little saucy? Spice up the night life with RIGID. This little number can take you to new heights as it sends a jolt of ‘erec’tricity through you and peaks levels of sexual stimulation. I am not kidding when I tell you that if you take one of these bastards, you might be calling in a nanny to watch the kids. At $3 a pill, the stuff better work good. And work well it does. This product out performs most libido stuff out there and if your “getting on a bit” but not “getting it on” this should be loaded in your pill cabinet at all times. Your partner will get as much enjoyment out of it and will be ironing your cape before you get home.
Three Olives new Grape and Berry Vodka – Couldn’t help myself seeing as that some of you are tipping the bottle periodically and because it is my job to bring you the best – why not! Unfortunately – this line of supplement is not available at Nutrition Forum but it is available at other liquor licensed stores. Vodka is certainly the drink of choice when it comes to a clean, ultra low Carb drink with hardly any calories. It is Very versatile with energy drinks, sodas and other personal potions and it also doubles as grandpa’s cough medicine. By appointment to the Queen, Three Olives has made my hometown England proud and has rapidly become her Majesties Royal Terrier when it comes to raising ones BAV levels. If mixed into a shooter or soda drink, these two new flavors will not be a one shot wonder at your next game of spin the bottle. So if your looking for a novelty knock-back, this ‘Bloody Wanker’ will put some hair on your chest!
I also highly recommend you seek out a product called Destiny a.k.a. “Dhir Juice”. It is a blend of French Cognac, Vodka and fruit juices and is produced by the same company. Get the blue kind, It is Orgasmic.
The above statements are a personal reflection of opinion from the author. They are in no way or form any sort of prescription treatment or cure for any personal condition you may have. Supplements and alcohol must be treated with respect and please read all labels including dose levels and ingredients carefully at all times and use responsibly.